October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and Grays Harbor Domestic Violence Center legal advocate Kelly Toomey and Director Gloria Callaghan want people to know that the issue is preventable and something that needs to be talked about.
The Domestic Violence Center on Grays Harbor provides a number of different services to survivors of domestic violence specific to their needs, helping people figure out what needs to be done in order to get out of an unhealthy situation. The center has a shelter for survivors to stay in if a home is not safe and also provides legal advocacy as well as support groups. Maybe most importantly, the center is a place where survivors can go to talk about their experiences.
“We let them know that they’re not alone. Usually that’s where most of the problem lies. The person feels like they’re completely alone and isolated in their situation,” said Toomey.
According to Toomey and Callaghan, there have been 162 new clients coming to the shelter since Jan. 1. In addition, there have been 184 new clients using the center’s 24 hour hotline within that period as well as 62 clients who have been housed at their shelter, which is in a secret location to ensure survivor safety.
Both women also said that they have begun to see younger women coming to the center looking for help. When asked if this may be attributed to more victims knowing that there are opportunities to seek help, Callaghan said she hoped so.
With recent events like NFL running back Ray Rice’s domestic violence case, in which he is videotaped knocking his fiancé unconscious, Toomey said people have become more aware of the issue.
“It’s prevalent everywhere. With the news media, it’s becoming a little more prevalent because people are talking about it, which is a sad thing. But it’s good on our part because we want people to talk about domestic violence. If we don’t talk about it, we can’t prevent it,” she said.
Both Toomey and Callaghan also encouraged families to discuss the issue and let their children know what constitutes a healthy relationship and what doesn’t.
“We’re trying to break down those walls to where it is normal conversation, stuff that isn’t usually talked about. I talk to my teenagers and they think I’m crazy. ‘What’s your dating world like?’ Or, ‘Tell me about this.’ Those are good conversations to have,” said Toomey. “We’re just encouraging talking about it. Domestic violence is preventable; it doesn’t have to happen.”
Discourse surrounding domestic violence and ways to stop it is important, but Callaghan stressed that without the Domestic Violence Center’s volunteers and support from the community, the organization would not be as capable of combating the issue as it is.
“We can always use more volunteers. We have loyal people who have been with us for a long time, but we’re always looking for volunteers to come in,” she said.
In an attempt to provide information on domestic violence and meet more people who would like to help, the center will host volunteer core training sessions on Oct. 28, 29 and 30 from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. The sessions are free and will take place at the Domestic Violence Center. There is also no obligation to volunteer for those who attend.
Both Toomey and Callaghan know that it is difficult for victims of domestic violence to step forward and ask for help.
They acknowledge the fact that it’s not something many men and women want talk about, but for those that are reluctant to contact the center for any reason, both women encouraged victims to think about what the alternative is.
“We encourage these people to think what’s the safest thing for them. Leaving’s not always the safest thing, but at least go and talk to an advocate if you’re thinking about leaving,” said Toomey. “Our doors are always open.”
Grays Harbor Domestic Violence Center 24 hour hotline: 1-800-818-2194
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